PHILLIP WALTER NATIUK

Condolences & Memories (6 entries)

• Eulogy for Philip Natiuk, Delivered at Funeral, Nov 29, 2024 “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, This poem by Robert Frost speaks of the paths we take in life and how they lead to different outcomes. We are here to remember and celebrate the life of Phillip Walter Natiuk who walked his own unique path. My name is Tim Frymire, and I got to know Alice and Phil through my wife Debbie’s and my friendship with Barb Swanson. Barb, Debbie and Alice were all nurses who shared a love of the spiritual aspects of healing and dreamed of other ways of finding health beyond what our Western medicine could imagine. Debbie and I met Alice and Phil over 30 years ago and despite the distances that often separated us, we stayed connected and renewed our friendship in 2017 when Alice and Phil returned to Winnipeg after their adventures in Calgary, England and Ontario. In the last few years we began sharing monthly breakfasts, often at the town bake shop, or “Back at the Ranch” restaurant in Oakbank, or in their home at Cook’s Creek. While breaking bread we would explore and discuss the issues that disturbed or intrigued us, closing with lighting a candle and letting scripture speak into our lives. through “Lectio Divina”. Phil might ask Alice to play and sing his favourite song on the piano- “Bright elusive Butterfly of love” by Bob Lind. Alice would often read one of her beautiful poems as closure. We marked the different seasons, such as lighting the real candles on their Christmas tree, while watching the birds flitting back and forth to their bird feeder by the window. In the last year we often spoke of how to die well, and how to let go, topics that Phil had a special interest in. I was very honoured and touched when Phil asked me to contribute to his eulogy at his funeral service. At that same visit he also read us the obituary he had written for himself, indicating that in his careful planned style, he was setting his affairs in order. He wrote detailed lists for Alice and Carl to help them with the funeral plans, and yet, in his final weeks, he was also able to let go of these plans and let life and events unfold as they must. He was certainly ready and prepared for his death. His last 10 years were spent partly in the shadow of his cancer diagnosis, and he was quite aware of the need to continually seek healing and health. Phil followed the advice of one of his favourite Poets, Dylan Thomas: “Do not go gentle into that good night; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.“ And yet, rage would not be the accurate word to describe how Phil approached his living and dying. Better words might be ‘Intently, thoughtfully, passionately and fully committed. The Phil I knew lived his life with steely intensity. His piercing blue eyes quickly conveyed his enjoyment of a good intellectual debate and how he relished some verbal swordplay. Always an individualist, never a sheep who followed blindly, with a healthy suspicion of authority, Phil did not easily swallow spoon fed news or the advertising and propaganda of those who wanted you to buy their product. He never really bought into (no pun intended) our western consumerist culture’s version of the “Good life’ and instead forged his own path, guided by the writings of Rudolf Steiner and the life-giving tenants of “Anthroposophy”. Though he spent the early part of his working life with Nortel/Manitoba Tel, he never chased the usual goals of getting rich and retiring early: Freedom 55 was not for Phil. Instead, marching to the beat of an alternative drummer he became a molder of souls and caretaker of the spirt in his role of working with special needs children and youth in a variety of alternative schools and facilities across two continents. There were sacrifices to be made for such a nontraditional path, though Alice and Phil were glad to make them if it meant their son Carl could be raised and formed in a Waldorf educational system that provided the needed space for an inquisitive and sensitive seeking soul. I know that the final test of Alice and Phil’s investment in alternative lifestyles, was the pride they felt in the way Carl had turned out: Polite, mature, thoughtful, caring, sensitive, creative, artistic and kind. The kind of man who leaned into life seeking to understand and make things better, who would engage others with respect and curiosity, who would not shy away from the mystery of death and dying, rather walk with his father to the very end, holding his hand as he took his last breath. Carl, the way you supported both your mother and father through these years of illness, the way you cared for Phil in his final days, is a testimony to the love your parents poured into you. Phil was so very proud of you. Alice, No one could have cared for Phil the way you did. You were love in action. You were love incarnate! Phil often took the role of a teacher and mentor in the second half of his life, guiding young lives. Parker Palmer says. “Good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of a teacher...I do not mean only our noble features, or the good deeds we do. Identity and integrity have as much to do with our shadows and limits, our wounds and fears, as with our strengths and potentials." Phil had the courage and honesty to delve into his own complex character seeking to understand himself and his “perfect imperfections”. He knew that he could hold strong opinions and did not suffer fools gladly; that he could be directive and controlling; that he could be sometimes harsh or abrupt with those closest to him. Yet, he could also be incredibly generous and friendly, hosting valentine parties at their house: gathering with neighbours and enjoying carolling and community get togethers. He listened deeply and intently to others, truly interested in how they saw life. Like us all, Phil was a mixture of light and darkness, yet the sincerity and light of his inner soul shown through. In a way, even in his dying he still had the courage to teach and let his light shine. In his last years, Phil was a frequent flyer with the medical system, and while he had his own thoughts on the efficacy and efficiency of the this system, he did forge very real and authentic relationships with the people who cared for him. In his final months he was cared for by his Palliative care physician, Dr. Puff, and the palliative care nurse, Laura. Earlier this week, in a classic ironic systemic communication mix-up that would have made Phil chuckle, the doctor and nurse turned up at Phil’s house for a scheduled appointment, unaware that he had recently died. Alice and Carl were keeping vigil over Phil’s body lying beautifully at rest in the simple coffin Phil had asked a local neighbour to make. In typical Natiuk hospitality, the doctor and nurse were invited to share in the vigil, something that neither had ever done. Sitting quietly in the presence of Phil’s body, a single candle burning beside it, they had the opportunity to enter into the profound silence that always accompanies great mystery and sacred space. Phil’s final lesson was offered silently and without words- as the deepest wisdom often is. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” Phil your choices made all the difference. Phil, you made a difference in your world. You made a difference in our world. That is all any of can us ask for. Well done good a faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your creator. I close with the words of Dylan Thomas: “And death shall have no dominion …they shall rise again; Though lovers be lost love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.” - Posted by: Tim Frymire (Friend) on: Nov 30, 2024

• My deepest condolences to Alice and Carl on the passing of Phil. He will be deeply missed. We will cherish the fun memories we have had together at many dinner parties. May he rest in peace - Posted by: Heather Ginter (Friend) on: Nov 28, 2024

• My family and I met Phil when he and Alice first picked up farm produce from our neighbouring farm. He was such a kind and sweet gentleman. I remember his smile and wave when we visited his and Alice's home, it always brought joy. I know he is greatly loved and will be greatly missed. Enjoy your next adventure, Phil. With love, Kristina - Posted by: Kristina Unruh (Neighbour) on: Nov 27, 2024

• Alice, I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers that God will comfort and sustain you during this time are with you and Carl. Lean on Him - God is always there for us. - Posted by: Diane Atwood (Cousin) on: Nov 27, 2024

• So sad to hear this news.. comforting to know he was with the people who meant the most to him. May he rest in peace, - Posted by: Arlene May (School ) on: Nov 27, 2024

• We got to know Phil and Alice when they invited us to a valentine's party at their home. We often got together as neighbors to share times together. Rest in peace - Posted by: Tom and Connie Johnston (Neighborhood friend) on: Nov 27, 2024